PERFECTION ISN’T YOU BUT ITS IN YOU! — Part 1

This is probably the longest I have ever taken to write anything…. I think I have about 14 half-written drafts at the moment. And I just realized why this has become so hard and why I was taking so long to write. It wasn’t because I’m in 10th and I was studying all the time (though I definitely wish I had done that😶). Its because I’ve been trying so hard to figure out what people would actually want to read. I completely overlooked the fact that I started this blog for myself and not for someone else. I started writing because I like to write and I wanted to share what I feel, not so that I could tell people what they would want to hear…

And anyway, how am I supposed to imagine what people want to hear? I can only assume and then, what if my guess was wrong? I would spend so much time and effort writing something that I don’t even really feel about and… people would dislike it anyway. So, what was the point?

Now this would be the first thing that I have learnt from this experience. “Be Yourself”. Sounds like something we’ve heard so often but forget just as frequently. People say its hard to be yourself, but I think its probably the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t exactly remember when I stopped trying to behave like a “cool” person or whatever it is that my generation calls it, but I do remember some instances. Once I heard a friend curse literally 12 times in one single sentence (yes, I actually counted😁) and she wasn’t even angry. It was in 5th standard and I didn’t even know what that word meant. (P.S.- I still don’t know what that word means…never really looked it up😅). I feel so embarassingly embarassed to admit that I actually thought that was cool, everyone did. I won’t get into too many details but I have learnt (the hard way) that ‘Cursing and me are not made for each other’. And then one time when I asked a girl in my class to stop running around and just sit in her place to maintain some discipline, she said something like “Can’t you be cool for once? Always so serious…you should have fun sometimes.” I only remember shaking with laughter imagining myself running around like a hippie when there were CCTV cameras in class😂 And how can I forget, the copying culture during exams in school?

Okay, no judgements here… Maybe this sounds cool to a lot of people. But I think everyone has a different definition of ‘cool’. To me its being easy-going and effortlessly yourself.

We all have our moments of doubt. I’m sure you sometimes feel like you’re floating out of your body, watching yourself from someone else’s point of view and hating yourself so passionately. I do, at least. But the only thing that that has ever gotten me is more self-doubt. And I just realized that if I spend so much time obsessively second-guessing everything that I do, maybe everyone does. And if that’s true, there is no way they find time to even think about me. So why should I care?

I’ve learnt how to be honest about who I am now. And I can’t tell you how happy I feel when my friends immediately say “Sorry!” if they accidently curse when I’m around or during exams when people say “No! Don’t ask her.. she won’t help.”

People might like you for who you you pretend to be, but they will love you for who you really are. That’s why I’m telling you, you deserve to be happy and loved for being yourself and you maybe even deserve to be miserable and hated for who you are. Just kidding!(or…. not)😝

Because as they say….

I’m going to stop now… there is a little extension to this idea that I would like to put forth and I need time to explain that because you might mistake it to be contradictory to whatever I’ve written so far. Okay, I’ll admit.. I’m trying to save myself a topic for the next blog too.😈 So, Part Two coming up soon!

Please feel free to share with me what you thought of this blog. You can write to me at aashnaghiya610@gmail.com or just leave a comment below. Thank you for reading!